I’m here, my love. I’m back. I came back for you. I told you I’d come back, didn’t I?
I bet you had your doubts. You always had your doubts about me. And quite rightly so. I gave you every reason to doubt me. I did it on purpose, hoping you could make the decision I couldn’t make. Being with me is a bad idea. I always knew that. But I couldn’t be without you.
Listen to me. You’ll get a laugh out of this:
Sometimes I think you’re still here. I feel you standing behind me. I feel your hand on my shoulder but when I reach out for you, want to touch you, all I feel is empty space.
You’re good on roofs, Jack. You once said that to me, remember? I still am. Always somewhere up high, in the air, ready to fly away. You were my anchor that kept me grounded. You reminded me of what it means to be human. You were the safety net I could always fall back onto. No matter what, I always knew, without even looking, that you’d be there to catch me. Like when we were hunting Myfanwy. Remember that?
After everything that’s happened to me, I never wanted to be so close to you – to anyone – ever again. But I just couldn’t fight it. I’ve been hurt so many times in my life. My lives. I’ve loved so much and lost so much more. I never wanted to lose you.
I miss you.
I miss your coffee. If for nothing else, I never regretted hiring you for your exceptional coffee making skills. Your coffee is truly the best in the universe.
But you were never just a teaboy, you knew that… right?
Sometimes, I still hear your voice. It’s stupid things. I see something, hear something, or someone says something and I can hear your voice in my head replying. We could release a single. Careful, sir, that’s harassment… Those beautiful Welsh vowels.
Remember Gwen? Brave, impulsive Gwen… how did we ever cope without her? She was the heart of Torchwood… but you were the soul. You held us all together; happy to work in the background, never asking for credit. Torchwood died… with you.
You know why I joined Torchwood? I did it for him; The Doctor. In his honor. But do you know why I stayed? Why I came back? I came back for you. I will always come back for you.
I love you.
Torchwood – Ficlet
Characters: Captain Jack Harkness, (Ianto Jones)
Word count: 450